Sowing Seeds of Hope

To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. Audrey Hepburn Sam and I have been very busy in the garden the last week or so. When we moved into our house last Summer there were lots of beautiful plants in the garden that we had no idea what to do with! We did aContinue reading “Sowing Seeds of Hope”

Another Mothers’ Day without Etta

It’s hard to not compare this year with last year… the last week before lockdown began and here we are still inside our houses. A year since we scattered Etta’s ashes and have hardly had chance to go back to visit. I don’t think I would have believed anyone if they had told me whatContinue reading “Another Mothers’ Day without Etta”

Etta’s Funeral

A year ago today, we celebrated Etta’s life in Cheltenham surrounded by family and friends. I don’t take that for granted now. Sam’s brother Tom led the service for us and there will never be the words to thank him. Finding the words at a child’s funeral must be so difficult, let alone your ownContinue reading “Etta’s Funeral”

Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 23

Today’s kind act is for two very deserving mums who both lost their little boys recently. It’s heartbreaking enough for your child to die, let alone during a global pandemic so I wanted to give them a few little gifts to show they’re not alone. I read ‘The Baby Loss Guide’ while on holiday afterContinue reading “Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 23”

Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 13

Today’s kind act was donating a bereavement book package to Ezzie’s pre-school. When I spoke to Ezzie’s keyworker, she hadn’t heard of Winston’s Wish and they didn’t have any specific resources on grief. So I thought instead of telling them about the books on the Winstons Wish and Child Bereavement UK websites, I would buyContinue reading “Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 13”

Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 1

Today we were kind to ourselves. After all- you can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve spent all day crying but so overwhelmed by other people’s love and kindness for us. And not just today- but every day since Etta’s diagnosis. So today’s act of kindness is from you. Thank you. Thank you to thoseContinue reading “Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 1”

How do you parent a dead child?

Imagine the scene… You get in the car from the hospital and see the car seat you carefully installed. You arrive to freshly washed baby clothes in the drawers and a crib by the bed. You look down and see a rounded stomach and milk leaking through your top. You find gifts and cards welcomingContinue reading “How do you parent a dead child?”

This is grief (and this is and this is…)

Grief isn’t what I expected it to be. People don’t often talk about it, even though everyone will go through losing a loved one at some point in their life. I’ve never lost anybody close to me before and even if I had, I’m not sure it would have prepared me for Etta dying anyway.Continue reading “This is grief (and this is and this is…)”

An Open Letter to my Niece

Last week my beautiful niece was born. She is our eighth niece (!) but is the first on my side of the family, my brother’s first baby and of course the first baby in our family born after Etta. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for my brother and sister-in-law to have their firstContinue reading “An Open Letter to my Niece”