I have a whole blog post ready to come about my pregnancy experience with Reuben but for now here is a poem I wrote in honour of Baby Loss Awareness Week 2021. Pregnancy After Loss It’s a marathon, an endurance test It’s expecting the worst while hoping for the best It’s repeated toilet trips prayingContinue reading “Pregnancy After Loss: A Poem”
Category Archives: parenting
Another Mothers’ Day without Etta
It’s hard to not compare this year with last year… the last week before lockdown began and here we are still inside our houses. A year since we scattered Etta’s ashes and have hardly had chance to go back to visit. I don’t think I would have believed anyone if they had told me whatContinue reading “Another Mothers’ Day without Etta”
How do you parent a dead child?
Imagine the scene… You get in the car from the hospital and see the car seat you carefully installed. You arrive to freshly washed baby clothes in the drawers and a crib by the bed. You look down and see a rounded stomach and milk leaking through your top. You find gifts and cards welcomingContinue reading “How do you parent a dead child?”
🍈🍈 World Breastfeeding Week 🍼
I took breastfeeding for granted with Ezzie. Despite the few days of discomfort at the start and occasionally feeling resentful that it was all on me for night feeds, it was an experience I look back on fondly. I weaned him off when I became pregnant with Etta just because I thought sharing my bodyContinue reading “🍈🍈 World Breastfeeding Week 🍼”
An Open Letter to my Niece
Last week my beautiful niece was born. She is our eighth niece (!) but is the first on my side of the family, my brother’s first baby and of course the first baby in our family born after Etta. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for my brother and sister-in-law to have their firstContinue reading “An Open Letter to my Niece”
Being Etta’s Grandpa
I asked my own dad if he would like to write something on this blog for Father’s Day. He wasn’t too sure but reading his words I’m so glad I asked. It reminds me that the death of a baby or child isn’t just felt by the parents and that my own father is noContinue reading “Being Etta’s Grandpa”
Moving forward not moving on
This morning Ezzie and I said goodbye to our house in Cheltenham for the last time. It’s been a really strange week of trying to say goodbye to our favourite people and places there without really being able to. One of my close friends flew back to America this week and said because of theContinue reading “Moving forward not moving on”
Half a year and half a world away
This week marks six months since Etta was born. Time has been so warped by coronavirus that it feels like a lifetime ago. If she was still alive, it is a milestone that I definitely would have celebrated so feels only right that I still mark it even though she’s not here. So, what doContinue reading “Half a year and half a world away”
Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)
I’ve always liked that saying- it reminds me that no happiness can be found in comparing ourselves to others. I think it’s something that us ‘millennials’ are pretty terrible at- especially women. I’m not sure if it’s the rise in social media but it seems very easy to compare your house, job, body or parentingContinue reading “Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)”
From the Mouths of Babes
It’s hard to find any joy when your baby or child is sick or dies. I remember it feeling so strange to laugh at the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special only a couple of days after she died. It felt like a betrayal to be smiling at anything. But in the hours, days, weeks andContinue reading “From the Mouths of Babes”
Better for Etta 