🍈🍈 World Breastfeeding Week 🍼

I took breastfeeding for granted with Ezzie. Despite the few days of discomfort at the start and occasionally feeling resentful that it was all on me for night feeds, it was an experience I look back on fondly. I weaned him off when I became pregnant with Etta just because I thought sharing my bodyContinue reading “🍈🍈 World Breastfeeding Week 🍼”

An Open Letter to my Niece

Last week my beautiful niece was born. She is our eighth niece (!) but is the first on my side of the family, my brother’s first baby and of course the first baby in our family born after Etta. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for my brother and sister-in-law to have their firstContinue reading “An Open Letter to my Niece”

Being Etta’s Grandpa

I asked my own dad if he would like to write something on this blog for Father’s Day. He wasn’t too sure but reading his words I’m so glad I asked. It reminds me that the death of a baby or child isn’t just felt by the parents and that my own father is noContinue reading “Being Etta’s Grandpa”

Half a year and half a world away

This week marks six months since Etta was born. Time has been so warped by coronavirus that it feels like a lifetime ago. If she was still alive, it is a milestone that I definitely would have celebrated so feels only right that I still mark it even though she’s not here. So, what doContinue reading “Half a year and half a world away”

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)

I’ve always liked that saying- it reminds me that no happiness can be found in comparing ourselves to others. I think it’s something that us ‘millennials’ are pretty terrible at- especially women. I’m not sure if it’s the rise in social media but it seems very easy to compare your house, job, body or parentingContinue reading “Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)”

From the Mouths of Babes

It’s hard to find any joy when your baby or child is sick or dies. I remember it feeling so strange to laugh at the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special only a couple of days after she died. It felt like a betrayal to be smiling at anything. But in the hours, days, weeks andContinue reading “From the Mouths of Babes”

Easter After Losing a Child: Suffering and Hope

I think it’s fair to say I’ve struggled with my faith after losing Etta and if I’m truly honest before that too. I was only reading the bible at a church service or when teaching a lesson/assembly at school and my prayers were somewhat formulaic (thank you, sorry, please). I could probably do a wholeContinue reading “Easter After Losing a Child: Suffering and Hope”

Mother’s Day and Milestones

This is a strange Mother’s Day for us all. Lots of mothers, grandmothers and children across the globe can’t be together today because of coronavirus. So maybe it will make this first Mother’s Day for me after Etta died a little easier to bear. I won’t be seeing all the afternoon teas and pub lunchesContinue reading “Mother’s Day and Milestones”