Today we were kind to ourselves. After all- you can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve spent all day crying but so overwhelmed by other people’s love and kindness for us. And not just today- but every day since Etta’s diagnosis. So today’s act of kindness is from you. Thank you. Thank you to thoseContinue reading “Better for Etta Kindness Campaign Day 1”
Tag Archives: grief
How do you parent a dead child?
Imagine the scene… You get in the car from the hospital and see the car seat you carefully installed. You arrive to freshly washed baby clothes in the drawers and a crib by the bed. You look down and see a rounded stomach and milk leaking through your top. You find gifts and cards welcomingContinue reading “How do you parent a dead child?”
This is grief (and this is and this is…)
Grief isn’t what I expected it to be. People don’t often talk about it, even though everyone will go through losing a loved one at some point in their life. I’ve never lost anybody close to me before and even if I had, I’m not sure it would have prepared me for Etta dying anyway.Continue reading “This is grief (and this is and this is…)”
An Open Letter to my Niece
Last week my beautiful niece was born. She is our eighth niece (!) but is the first on my side of the family, my brother’s first baby and of course the first baby in our family born after Etta. I can’t imagine what it’s been like for my brother and sister-in-law to have their firstContinue reading “An Open Letter to my Niece”
Being Etta’s Grandpa
I asked my own dad if he would like to write something on this blog for Father’s Day. He wasn’t too sure but reading his words I’m so glad I asked. It reminds me that the death of a baby or child isn’t just felt by the parents and that my own father is noContinue reading “Being Etta’s Grandpa”
I had a miscarriage.
It was hard to think of a title for this blog post so I thought I’d just come out and say it. I never ‘announced’ I was pregnant with Ezzie or Etta on social media until they were born so it feels strange to be announcing this pregnancy and the end of it in oneContinue reading “I had a miscarriage.”
Moving forward not moving on
This morning Ezzie and I said goodbye to our house in Cheltenham for the last time. It’s been a really strange week of trying to say goodbye to our favourite people and places there without really being able to. One of my close friends flew back to America this week and said because of theContinue reading “Moving forward not moving on”
Half a year and half a world away
This week marks six months since Etta was born. Time has been so warped by coronavirus that it feels like a lifetime ago. If she was still alive, it is a milestone that I definitely would have celebrated so feels only right that I still mark it even though she’s not here. So, what doContinue reading “Half a year and half a world away”
Etta’s Cardiac Arrest
*** Trigger Warning *** This post details the day of Etta’s cardiac arrest and photographs from that day so don’t read on if that will be a bit much for you ❤️ Yesterday was a really heavy day. I spent most of the day crying or on the verge of crying or with a headacheContinue reading “Etta’s Cardiac Arrest”
Too Much Information
I said in a previous post that after you end up in intensive care you become very knowledgable about lots of different medical jargon. I remember speaking to my uncle (a paediatrician at GOSH) after our first scan with Etta before we really knew what it was. He talked us through some possibilities and saidContinue reading “Too Much Information”
Better for Etta 