This week marks six months since Etta was born. Time has been so warped by coronavirus that it feels like a lifetime ago. If she was still alive, it is a milestone that I definitely would have celebrated so feels only right that I still mark it even though she’s not here. So, what doContinue reading “Half a year and half a world away”
Tag Archives: infant loss
Etta’s Cardiac Arrest
*** Trigger Warning *** This post details the day of Etta’s cardiac arrest and photographs from that day so don’t read on if that will be a bit much for you ❤️ Yesterday was a really heavy day. I spent most of the day crying or on the verge of crying or with a headacheContinue reading “Etta’s Cardiac Arrest”
Too Much Information
I said in a previous post that after you end up in intensive care you become very knowledgable about lots of different medical jargon. I remember speaking to my uncle (a paediatrician at GOSH) after our first scan with Etta before we really knew what it was. He talked us through some possibilities and saidContinue reading “Too Much Information”
Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)
I’ve always liked that saying- it reminds me that no happiness can be found in comparing ourselves to others. I think it’s something that us ‘millennials’ are pretty terrible at- especially women. I’m not sure if it’s the rise in social media but it seems very easy to compare your house, job, body or parentingContinue reading “Comparison is the Thief of Joy (and Grief…)”
From the Mouths of Babes
It’s hard to find any joy when your baby or child is sick or dies. I remember it feeling so strange to laugh at the Gavin and Stacey Christmas special only a couple of days after she died. It felt like a betrayal to be smiling at anything. But in the hours, days, weeks andContinue reading “From the Mouths of Babes”
You Are My Sunshine
I woke up this morning feeling quite cheerful. I think that’s saying something as Ezzie decided 5.15 was an acceptable wake up time. But early mornings and night wake ups don’t upset me as much anymore because I keep thinking that I should have a 4 month old with me and she would definitely beContinue reading “You Are My Sunshine”
Mother’s Day and Milestones
This is a strange Mother’s Day for us all. Lots of mothers, grandmothers and children across the globe can’t be together today because of coronavirus. So maybe it will make this first Mother’s Day for me after Etta died a little easier to bear. I won’t be seeing all the afternoon teas and pub lunchesContinue reading “Mother’s Day and Milestones”
Real Men Don’t Cry
When Emily started this blog I was really pleased that she had a way to express herself and explain her thoughts and feelings to everyone and anyone that cared. I didn’t for a minute think that I’d ever write down my own thoughts and feelings. I’m comfortable talking about my emotions (although I haven’t alwaysContinue reading “Real Men Don’t Cry”
Self-isolating, potty training and grief
I wasn’t expecting to be writing again so soon but with the current plan to implement social distancing and self-isolation as much as possible, there doesn’t seem much else to do! This isn’t meant to be a ‘woe is me’ post at all- there’s enough misery and anxiety around at the moment! Last week, IContinue reading “Self-isolating, potty training and grief”
Better for Etta 